Tape and bugs.

My bedroom is a battle field. If you have more than two legs, wings, or a creepily long body, be warned. My victories are swift, often painless, and always vastly amusing. I don’t remember how it started, but I’ve developed this skill of catching bugs with clear packing tape. The process is simple.

1. See bug
2. PANIC – add verbal confirmation of invasion if company is present
3. Run away from invader
4. Pick up tape, rip piece off
5. Aim to place tape over offender
6. Repeat until successful
7. Fold tape in half to cover prisoner
8. Toss in trash

In the event that tape does not work, there is always the choice of a flip flop or sneaker. That is a last resort tactic, as I do not like having smeared bug guts on my walls or floor. And I loathe cleaning those smears even more than making them. There has been a moth smeared on my ceiling for well over a year, just for the fact that I can’t bring myself to wipe it up.

• A spider has been taped to my wall for weeks because it wouldn’t leave that awkward crease between wall and ceiling. And then it refused to suffocate.
• Giant black ants taped: At least ten.
• Styrr screamed once when I spotted a wasp. He ran out of the room, leaving me to fend for myself.
• A spider came flying out of a blanket I was working on. I chased that sucker for ten minutes before finally grabbing my sneaker.
• Once I caught a centipede on steroids. I almost threw up, after it almost touched my foot.
• I had a giant black ant taped to my floor for a few days because I couldn’t get the tape back up.
• Devaw once watched me chase a spider (while I screamed incoherently) until it fell off my wall and scurried behind my bed.
• This post is making me realize just how many spiders get into my room.